The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford

The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford

Nothing to get you in the Christmas spirit like thinking about your ultimate demise, right?

This book is not available for Kindle or audiobook (gasp). So, I went to the library and checked out a hardcover (something I've only been doing as of late for cookbooks and archival/history-related texts). Hardcovers seem so much heavier to carry around after toting my Kindle for the last (almost) year. I digress.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who plans on dying or knows someone who will die. So, everyone. Americans have a unique funeral culture, one that I've never been entirely comfortable with, and this book helped me know why (and be even more uncomfortable with it -- hooray!). I've never needed the viewing after a family member has died and have always hated hearing "oh, they look so natural." They don't look natural; they are dead! I would much prefer to remember the living, vibrant person I knew in life, not their remains. The funeral industry is a business and wants to sell you the most expensive funeral possible. And they get you right when you are most vulnerable and make you think that the way to really show how much you loved your "loved one" is to spend a ridiculous amount of money for their funeral. They take advantage of the guilt and remorse of your mourning.

Things that this book made me realize or reinforced previous feelings:
1) I do NOT want an open casket funeral or any viewing of my remains. If my immediate family members would like a peak, fine, but please do not put me on display for everyone to have to comment on how "natural" I look.

2) I do not want to be embalmed. (Side note: Listen to the author when she forewarns that things are a little difficult to read. I thought that after reading all about death rituals in college, I'd be fine with this chapter right before bed. I wasn't. Just read with caution).

3) I'm pretty sure I want to be cremated. I like the idea of being buried in a cemetery (particularly because great-great-grandparents, great-grandparents, grandparents, and cousin are all buried at a cemetery that I nominated for the National Register. I'd like to end up there), but that doesn't mean I can't have my cremated remains buried there.

4) Don't get an expensive casket (or a casket at all, if possible). Seriously. I get that I'm awesome and you love me, but please don't spend thousands of dollars on a box. And don't get a vault. Spend the money on some musicians for the memorial service or go buy yourself a new purse. Seriously.

This book is a bit dense, but even if you don't get through the whole thing, or pick and choose the chapters, absolutely check it out. I will probably have to pick out a casket, etc. at some point in life and feel much more prepared.